Let Them Theory
The ‘Let Them’ Theory
How letting go of control may be your most powerful form of self-care for 2024
I listened to a brilliant podcast episode of the Diary of a CEO yesterday with Mel Robbins & Steven Bartlett. I highly recommend taking a moment to maybe take a walk & digest this episode. There were lots of valuable points, but for me one of the biggest take aways was something that I have been resonating a lot with lately… the Let Them Theory
The fastest way to take control of your life is to stop controlling everyone around you. You have no idea how much time, energy & attention you are wasting trying to control other people. You have no idea how much energy you are burning through thinking about what other people are doing, what they’re not doing, what they’re feeling… all of which you have zero control over
Energetically you are hooking yourself into other people because you have an opinion about what they should or shouldn’t be doing. And your opinion is driven by your insecurity, your controlling nature or your anxiety . Once you get your energic hook into someone else, you’ve now lost control. When you say ‘let them’, you’re acknowledging the situation & almost saying ‘I am above it & I am permitting this because I see it happening’. You are no longer all worked up what they’re doing, you’re forced to look back at yourself
So, let them. It may be hard sometimes for us to sit with our ego (that is another blog post coming soon!), or our automatic patterns of response & just a massive way in which our learnt behaviour gets in our way of growth & ultimately, our inner peace.
Let Them sits hand in hand with constantly trying to chase making everyone else happy, it draws us away from focussing on our own authentic self. I think for me 2024 was the year of realising so much about myself in terms of drive, purpose & values. Starting to unpick more about what behaviours are my authentic self vs. ways I have been taught is both complicated yet refreshing. One of the greatest take aways is definitely the reassurance that your first thought isn’t you, but possibly what you’ve been taught, so meet that thought with a pause & a moment to wait for your brain to process what feels authentic to you. It was a game-changer to me in self-compassion & understanding just how much of an impact the external world has on our unconscious, but when we bring purpose & awareness into our communication, it can feel profoundly empowering.
It is so hard to create that pause at times, our fight or flight mode wants to react, and so often that reaction tarnishes how we would want to respond, how different the outcome would have been if we had had that moment. All we can do is practice. And when we do succeed in Letting Them, also absorb the freedom that comes with rising above & letting go of that futile chase for control, and instead notice the grounding sense of freedom & integrity that comes with keeping focussing on…. you.
We will dive into this within our journalling workshop coming up in January, which you can read more about here.
So my lasting thoughts to you are
Let’s practice the ‘Let Them Theory’
Focussing on a pause before our response can be one of the most powerful tools of self-care
Stay curious, about your why, your triggers & how to navigate your growth
Letting go of trying to control others may be the most empowering thing you can do in 2024, rising above chasing an impossible outcome & saving that energy for you
I hope you found this blog valuable, let me know if you have any thoughts
Love Katie xx